ACME Biscuit Replicator

Acme Biscuit Replicator

This month we are pleased to introduce our newest sponsor:

THE ACME BISCUIT REPLICATOR

This unique device is a completely self contained, self oiling, and maintenance-free nuclear powered biscuit maker. This biscuit maker is easy to operate and features the patented Acme ‘One Button’ quick start.

Just press the green button and before you can blink your eye you’ll have enough biscuits to satisfy the needs of a dozen full grown Great Danes.

As you can see from the photo your masters will hardly know it’s installed thanks to our unique ‘blend into any decor design’!

Frequently Asked Question-

Q:Is this just another cheap plastic biscuit maker like I see advertised on TV?

A:No way! The Acme Biscuit Replicator housing is made from 1/4 inch titanium reinforced stainless steel. (NOTE: Check your local building codes. Your masters may have to reinforce your basement and apply for a tactical nuclear device permit)

Q:Listen, I really like biscuits. Can this gizmo keep up with my biscuit needs?

A:Yup! Output is measured in kilos of biscuits per second. Once your master hits that green patented quick start button there’s virtually no wait. From the ‘Power Saver’ mode it’s Instant On. A five second burst (minimum setting) will yield 60 kilos of biscuits. (Turbo charger option will give you 4X power)

Q:Are recipes included?

A:Sure thing. There are 12 basic biscuit recipes included. 

Q:How much does it cost?

A:Ask your masters if the term ‘second mortgage’ means anything to them. If they look puzzled- then ask them if they really had their hearts set on sending little Johnny to college?

The Acme Biscuit Replicator is not sold in stores. Our motto is “This is the Last biscuit maker you’ll ever own”. As a matter of fact if you make one small mistake setting it up it will be the last kitchen appliance of any kind you’ll have to deal with.

Contact your local, state, and Federal authorities for the proper permits. Various restrictions apply. Always use extreme caution when cleaning or disposing of nuclear core material. (Kitchen rubber gloves NOT suitable for this task) All sales final (believe me). For more information call toll free: 1 – 800 -QUICK BISCUIT

Dealer inquiries welcome
/Max

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