The Magic Toaster

Hello! I’m Molly (a.k.a. The Circus Girl).

My sister Becky and I have finally found a way to get our Toast! Now listen up….as you all know, dough is one of the essential canine food groups. With the exception of maybe hot dogs, dough is right up at the top of the canine food pyramid! For you pups out there, here’s a quick list of the top 3 dough treats:

1. Toast (preferably buttered)
2. Muffin (any kind, with butter)
3. Cookie (butter…. hmmmm)

The Snack

OK – now back to our story. This event actually mostly happened – so it’s sorta a true story. Female Master was having a snack of toast so naturally Becky and I were sitting nearby hoping for a couple of crumbs. The real object of our tail-waggin’ desire was to snag an actual piece of toast.

Suddenly the toaster popped and one of the pieces of toast seemed to be a little overzealous. We think it may have been a little ‘top heavy’ because this one slice careens off the toaster and lands right on the floor. It all seemed to happen in slow motion. Pop! Spling! Splat!

Hit the pause button for a second – Now let me tell you pups the difference between female master and male master. Male master has what he calls the Genghis Kahn 5 second rule when something drops onto the floor. Here’s his theory. It takes at least 6 or more seconds for germs to get onto anything that lands on the floor. So he believes that if you pick something up in 5 seconds or less, it’s still fit for human (at least his) consumption.

Compare this (thankfully) to female master who’s theory is that ANYTHING landing on the floor is automatically a dog snack.

Back to the action – We all stared in awe at the piece of toast laying there, right in front of us, all warm and toasty-like. Gulp Gulp…. gone.

Becky and I looked at each other and I think we both thought of out next invention at the same time. We slipped out of the room and headed for our canine workshop.

A Spring is Added

What we needed was to be able to duplicate that freak toast accident ‘on demand’ without our masters being the least bit suspicious. This called for some basic dog ingenuity, a few parts from ACME Dog Supply House and a few simple tools.

What we figured we needed was a spring, our master’s toaster and a bit of luck. Sizing the spring was a bit tricky, but we realized we need a sure-fire way to gently ‘urge’ that toast to clear the top of the toaster. Once the ‘modified’ toaster was complete we set it back in the closet and waited for snack time to roll around.

One nice thing about humans is that they tend to eat the same snacks every day. This time we watched as our modified toaster started heating up. So far so good….. 5  -  4  -  3  -  2  -  1….

POP! ZZZWoosh! PaDooomp!

I will tell you right now – we really should have gone with the #3 spring rather than the #465 size – that toast would have gone into orbit if we had been outdoors – but hey! Looks like we got a winner here! Perfect toast everytime and right on the floor (wonder how that happened??)

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